How to propose a woman?
by SilverRain0
Summary: This is a one shot. It all started with a crazy idea how Kidd would propose someone. I wanted a crack fic but it turned out cheesey. XD Rated T because this is Kidd we are talking about.


**A/N: **Written for CopraMeow. Something like a challange or a game between us. Anyways, have fun reading.

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"Say something about her eyes." – After receiving an are-you-shitting-me look from Kidd, Sanji continued. – "Women love when they are praised. Trust me, I know it."

"Ok." – Kidd grunted. This was humiliating. How did he even end up here? Oh, yeah. He needed an advice. He was close to punching the idiot in the face but he was going to endure it. Anything for her.

The self proclaimed love expert stepped in front of the young man and continued. – "Imagine I am her. Now look at me and say something about my eyes."

Kidd's face showed great concentration. – "Your eyes.. uhm.. are...uhm.. pretty big?"

"Hell no, you moron! What is she?! The big bad wolf dressed as grandma?" – Sanji was fuming. – "That's not how you do it. You slowly reach her face with your hand, look her deep in the eyes and say how beautiful her eyes are, you could watch them for eternity."

"Sanji, stop touching me." – Kidd's voice was stern but collected.

"Uh, yeah." – cough – cough- "Won't happen again." – Sanji nervously shifted in his position. – "Anyway, good luck. I need to go now." - And the blonde cook disappeared.

Killer looked at his friend. – "Uhm, that was..yeah..." – Silence fell between them. – "Should we try asking someone else, maybe a female?"

"No, they are overly enthusiastic about the proposal thing. Besides I don't have much time left. We are meeting in an hour." – Kidd sighed. His head started to hurt.

"Good luck. Call if she dumps you." – The look on Kidd's face was priceless. He didn't even think about that possibility.

"She won't dump me!" – Kidd jelled after his best friend. – "At least I hope that."- He added silently.

...

The whole morning he was ecstatic. He would finally do it. They were dating for some years now and he felt it was right time to do it.

The red head came few minutes early to the appointed place. Here they had met for the first time, in the park under the old tree. The sun was slowly setting down and the lamps started to glow just like at that time.

It was like in that cliché stories. He was busy typing on the phone when he bumped into the young blonde. A smile crept on his face remembering how she accused him for not looking where he was going although she wasn't looking herself. He just shrugged, took his phone and left. Only after he had arrived home, he realised he took her phone. They arranged a meeting, and one thing led to another and they were dating.

"Hey, I am really sorry for being late. I was waiting for a friend, she promised to send me some stories but the lazy ass was sleeping. So, did what every normal person would do."

Kidd looked at his girlfriend. When she was smiling like that, nothing good comes out. – "What did you do?" – He was scared for the poor girl, hopefully she didn't kill her.

"Nothing bad; I just went to her place and took all the chocolate and sweets and replaced them with crackers and fruit." – There was an evil gleam in her eyes.

"You are evil, woman."

"No, you are just imagining that. So you said you wanted to tell me something but couldn't do it on the phone. What is it?"

"I ..ugh... you..you have big eyes."

Barbara was confused. – "Ok, I guess? Or is it bad?"

"No, no. I.. I didn't mean it like that. There is nothing wrong with your eyes." – He was getting more and more uncomfortable. Sweat was forming on his head. – "Your eyes are big or was it pretty.. no, it was beautiful. Fuck it. I don't know how to do this."

He finally snapped. – "This looked so easy in my imagination. Maybe I should have asked someone else. Why the people from the Internet said that this would be easy and that the words would come alone? Why?"

"Kidd, Kidd. Hey Kidd! Stop it!" – His monologue was interrupted by more and more confused girlfriend. – "What people, what's easy?"

"You know what? Fuck the people! I'll do it in my style." – He paused, exhaled, and continued. –"Woman, marry me. I don't take no as an answer."

"I don't think that was a question. It was more like an order." – She looked innocently at Kidd.

"Woman, don't play games with me."

"How about you kneel first and ask me again. Maybe I'll give you an answer then."

He got on his knees, took out a small box with the ring and said. – "You are the most beautiful girl in the word and I am really happy to have you by my side. So, will you be my wife and stay forever there?"

"Oh, yes, yes. I would always say yes."

"Good. Now I have to call those morons and say that you didn't dump me."

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There might be some mistakes, I wasn't looking. I really tried to make it on time. But it seems it didn't turn out as I wanted. XD


End file.
